How can I manage my toddler's difficult behaviour?

Why does my toddler behave badly?

The toddling stage can be a particularly difficult period for discipline. A clear personality is now emerging, and this new individual has a very strong need to assert his independence.

If you try and treat your child as a baby at this time he’ll push back hard against you. The best way to approach tasks that he refuses to do is to turn them into games and challenges. Direct orders will probably receive the classic toddler response of ‘No!’ and ‘Why?’

Try and understand how they see the world

You will have an easier time if you accept some of your toddler’s naughty behaviour, and see it as part of the bigger picture of normal child development. By defying you and being naughty, he’s asserting his individuality.

Expect some stubbornness, opposition and resentment. Stay calm and remember that your role at this time is to lead and teach. The world’s a fascinating, exciting and often scary place to a young child, so try and empathize with the way in which he sees things. You’ll find it makes your role as parent that much easier.

Some practical ways to manage a naughty toddler

Some people advocate the use of timeouts for toddlers. These are when the child is asked to sit alone and quiet for several minutes in a designated space as a form of discipline. The child is not supposed to communicate with anyone, and you are not supposed to communicate with your child.

However, effective timeouts are often quite difficult for your child to achieve. At this age they are not very likely to sit still for long, and have to be constantly told to sit or be restrained, which only serves to make problems worse.

A better course of action with a young child is the idea of redirection. This is an attempt to steer your child away from the situation towards something else, and it works far better for toddlers than timeouts.

A good example of redirection is to remove a toy from a child if he’s throwing it. At the same time, he should be told that if he can’t play nicely with the toy, he will have to play with something else.

Breath holding

Some children resort to breath holding when they aren’t getting their own way. There are a few ways of dealing with this sort of behaviour, depending on how old your child is. With young babies, just blowing gently onto their face will make them catch their breath.

With an older child, tell him calmly that if he can tell you what the problem is, you can try and help him solve it, but he needs to stop holding his breath. Breath holding is a child’s way of trying to hold your emotions ‘to ransom’, so let it be known that you won’t fall for it.